These sneaky salesmen could sell anything—and usually do. Need a whoopee cushion? They’ve got 12 variations, including a deluxe, long-play edition. A jar of premium, aged fart? That’ll cost extra. Scissors that only cut spaghetti? Weirdly enough, they’re sold out. If there’s a demand, they’ll supply it. If there isn’t a demand, they’ll create one.

Haggling? Ha. You’ll think you got a deal, but by the time you walk away, your pockets are empty, and you somehow own a heavily used pair of underwear that was apparently worn by a “legendary warrior.” These wheeling-and-dealing masterminds could sell their own mother—twice—if it meant an extra coin. Either way, one thing’s for sure—if you’re talking to a Shopkeeper, you’re already losing money.